Archive for September, 2005

27 Hours And Counting

September 29, 2005

Just got tickets for Lil’ Sis and me, for the 7:45 showing. Ith and Nin already have theirs. Lil’ Sis has not seen Firefly, but she watched the Serenity trailers online, and she had a definite response:

Mal: I aim to misbehave.
Lil’ Sis: Great. Here’s my address!

I think we have us another convert in the making…. Shiny!

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Shiny!

September 28, 2005

Via Ith, a message from Joss, lifted in its entirety:

Well boys and girls and boys dressed as girls and girls dressed as Kaylee, the time is almost upon us. This Friday we take that old rust-bucket out of the shipyard and see if she can breach atmo. It’s been a long (to paraphrase a band I like) strange trip, and it’ll be nice finally to show everybody what it is we’ve been tinkering with all this time. You already know you have my thanks, from the hardcore fans to the softcore… fans…. let me try that again. From the people manning the booths, buying DVD sets for their friends, getting banners seen everywhere on Australian TV, raffling artwork for ticketholders (Adam Hughes, take a bow), to the most casual fan who just wants to see the flick and won’t ever even read this. You guys are the fuel in the engine, the Fire in the Fly, the weird green stuff coming out of Serenity’s butt. (Hmmm. Forget that last one. I’m a little bit out of control here.) Everyone needs something to keep them going. Mal has his ship. Zoe has her integrity. Jayne has Vera. And I’ve got you guys.

So what now? There have been so many posts about seeing it, seeing it again, the first weekend, the second weekend, being enthusiastic without being obnoxious (and yes, it IS hard to see over the pom-pom of a Jayne hat), buying tickets in advance, making a noise… I honestly wouldn’t know what to add. I can tell you this: the movie will play in about 2200 hundred theaters, which is a good number. Too many, and you get empty theaters with no energy — not enough, and you get, well, not enough. It may be hard to find in some areas but it’ll be out there. Leave no multiplex unturned! This is going to be a ground war, peeps — we have to hold the valley for a long while. However it opens, it needs to HOLD. Instead of the Alliance we’ll be fighting viewer apathy, fear of something new, the urge to wait for DVD, and Jessica Alba in a bikini. (Although I have it on good authority that she spends 90% of the film in a huge wooly parka. Make sure that gets out.)

The day this puppy opens, I’ll be seeing it with my family (don’t worry, there’s a lot of them, and they’re all paying) and then I’m off to Europe to learn the word ‘Browncoats’ in nine different languages — ’cause like I said, it’s all about holding. I’ll never be far from a computer, though, so I can check in with y’all. Thanks for every damn thing.

And remember, amidst all the urgency to make this an event, all the work and the worry, to take two hours and just enjoy yourself. That is, after all, what all this fighting’s about.

-joss.


We Got Us A New Convert!

September 28, 2005

Our very own “Bum,” frequent commenter here, finally took my advice and watched the “Firefly” marathon on the Sci-Fi channel. Here’s his e-mail:

Guy on Planet: [drunk] Hey, you gonna toast Unification day with me? Six years today, the Alliance sent the Browcoats runnin’, pissin’ their pants… You know, your coat is kinda a brownish color.
Mal: It was on sale. [drinks]
Guy on Planet: You didn’t toast? Y’know, I’m thinkin’ you’re one o’ those Browncoats…
Mal: And I’m thinking you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schoolin’, so why don’t we just ignore each other ’til we go away.
Guy on Planet: … the Browncoats were a bunch o’ cowardly pisspots, should’a been killed off o’ every world spinnin’.
Mal: [puts down drink] Say that to my face.
Guy on Planet: [threateningly] I said you’re a coward and a pisspot. Now what’re you gonna do about it?
Mal: [smiles suddenly] Nothing. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you.
[Guy on Planet turns, and ZoŽ hits him in the face with the butt of her gun]
Mal: Drunks are so cute.

Ok, Beach. I get it. I get it in a large way. VERY clever writing, great cast, believable plots; American civil war (including the musical score) meets Star Trek Original meets Battlestar Galactica (new version …although it wasn’t out yet) meets Get Smart and Mary Tyler Moore and every other well written comedy.

Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics.
Mal: Can’t get paid if you’re dead.
Jayne: Can’t get paid if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. I got a share of this job. Ten percent of nothin’ is, let me do the math here… nothin’ and a nothin’, carry the nothin’…

I am now a fan. Not a rabid fan like you, but a fan. I imagine you enjoy Battlestar. E.J. Olmos… Stargate SG1 or Atlantis? All good if not great shows.

I might see it in the theater, but we’ll see.

I was able to watch the whole shootin’ match except the first half of the pilot and the last one or two…

And to think only yesterday he was saying he’d probably watch the movie when it came out on DVD.

No power in the ‘verse can stop us!

Warning! Swallow Your Beverage!

September 26, 2005

Via Rightwing Duck over at IMAO, the latest in breaking news. Swallow your beverage before clicking over. You have been warned.

Spam spam spam spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

September 26, 2005

This has to be one of the better ones. The message subject:

Rborets dceilned to say wehhter he tohguht Roe was a porper rlunig. I sohuld stay away from dsiucssion of sepicfic csaes, he plotiely told Septcer.

The message goes on to advertise Viagra for $1.56 a pill, Cialis for $3.00, and Levitra for $2.78.

Then the rest of the message:

From the air, the birght sun bleied the dvesaatiton — roofs rpiped off, cars uepdned, some biudlnigs falttneed, ohters pciked up and dorpped onto one aonhter.

I tihnk that eevyrobdy wuold not be stiitng here syanig, ‘Oh, what harm is taht.’ Tehy’d be fruoius. And taht’s eaxtcly what goes on aagnist ahtietss. And it sohlund’t.

Rborets also seemed to rjeect eexucitve pwoer to odrer the dteneiton of Aemircan ctiziens in wraitme smiply bceuase of tehir ntaoianilty or rlegioin, smiliar to the ipmirosmnent of Jpanase-emArecians druing Wrold War II.

Un-freaking-real. I’m not sure I get it, other than being an obvious bait-and-switch–but anyone with an IQ above that of dryer lint could see it’s bad bait. You’re supposed to think it’s some kind of political rant, but the real product is something else entirely.

Now, if I were actually in the market for those kinds of drugs, and if I were of a mind to purchase them over the internet, via an unsolicited e-mail message (is anybody really THAT stupid?), I would not open a political message in search of ED drugs.

Why did I open it? The sheer number of misspellings had me curious. I admit it. So sue me. Was I surprised at what I found? No.

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

September 25, 2005

The situation: Divorced parents, two daughters, ages 5 and 2. The 5 year old has an odd chromosome abnormality that is so rare, the experts don’t know what it means. In some ways the child is quite bright, but she has virtually no attention span, she’s hyperactive and clumsy, and her 2 year old sister talks better than she does.

So the clumsy hyperactive 5 year old comes to school with a bruise on her leg, and the teacher asks how she got it. “Daddy.” Technically, true, but the child did not (or could not) explain that Daddy was trying to grab her arm to keep her from hitting her baby sister, she moved, and he hit her leg instead. So Child Protective Services gets involved, and the father is not allowed to see the children unless the mother is present. Which pretty much blows up the childcare-sharing arrangements and the juggled work schedules.

Then the 5 year old shows up at school with a bruise on her face. When asked, presumably because she got so much attention the last time, she again says “Daddy.” Well, in fact, Daddy hadn’t even SEEN her, as ordered, so how could he have bruised her face?

Meanwhile, both children are asking for Daddy, and the 5 year old is showing signs of depression and starting to wet the bed again.

Mommy is on notice that if there is one more reported incident, she will be declared an “unprotective mother” and the children will be taken away.

How do you explain to a normal 5 year old, much less one with somewhat diminished capacity, that if she says Daddy bruised her, both Mommy and Daddy will disappear from her life?

The mother has no use for the father; can’t stand him, in fact, but if she thought for one minute he were capable of actually hurting the children, she would take them and vanish into the wilderness. And abused children do not usually ask plaintively where their abuser is and why he doesn’t come to see them, and why they don’t go to his house anymore.

Barring a miracle, this can only end badly. How do you prove a negative? How does the father prove he did not purposely bruise his little girl?

Prayers would be much appreciated.

Now THIS Is Just Plain WRONG!

September 24, 2005

In perusing the alumni newsletter from the looniversity, I see they have proudly announced the very first “homecoming,” complete with pre-game festivities and bonfire and all that good stuff.

Just one little hitch. The looniversity does not have a football team, so I wondered just what sport would be played for the main event. Somebody must have had a modicum of embarrassment, because they printed it so small, I had to hunt for it.

The event? A women’s volleyball match.

Aargh! The humanity!

No, I don’t believe I will be attending.

Not A Bad Review, Considering

September 23, 2005

Considering, that is, how self-proclaimed purveyors of all things good usually treat movie sci-fi. I, of course, expect to enjoy Serenity a whole lot more than this reviewer did.

She Needs Her Own Blog

September 23, 2005

Had coffee again yesterday with “Little Sis.” She entertained me with tales of her bad day, including a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles, a fight with the cat, and getting locked out of the house because she went for a walk and while she was gone, the out-of-balance washing machine during its spin cycle walked partway across the floor and blocked the door she had left unlocked…. I suggested perhaps she needed something stronger than coffee and she patted her pocket, stating she needed a hip flask.

Oh, and in addition to all of that, she went to the “female doctor” (doctor for females, not the gender of the practitioner) who expressed hesitation on doing a “full exam” for fear the patient would be hurt by it. (Use your imagination.) I said if somebody said that to me, I wouldn’t be able to decide if I were being complimented or insulted. And then this person, knowing “Little Sis” has never married (by choice, not for lack of opportunity) suggested she log onto e-harmony-dot-com. Now THAT is getting WAAAY too intrusive!

And that was just the first 5 minutes. Later in the conversation she told me the tale of the time she was head chef for a summer camp, and took a full-body dive into her vat of spaghetti sauce (stepstool, slippery floor, you do the math). She didn’t have enough supplies to make a fresh batch of sauce so she served the sauce she had bathed in. Nobody died from eating it. At least, not that we know of.

And then there was the time she accidentally got high on nutmeg, hallucinating and everything. She talked about going around the room in a college bull session, people talking about what they’d done. This person dropped acid, this person did quaaludes, somebody else did mushrooms, and then there’s Lil’ Sis, who did nutmeg.

Did I mention the part about how one of our high school classmates just bought the 5 point something million dollar house on her street, and Lil’ Sis is just nosy enough that she’s going to try to find out whether she earned it, married it, or inherited it. Stay tuned.

All in all, a very entertaining hour and a half or so, with lattes. Looking forward to the next one!

Fun Web Toys

September 22, 2005

Created, I am sure, by people with waaaay too much time on their hands, this one seems mostly designed for people who are expecting a “blessed event.” There are enough non-baby patterns, however, that one can adapt for nearly anything.

Try this:


Nifty, eh?