Archive for May, 2007

I Owe Geico An Apology…

May 30, 2007

… for calling him Fatso all the time.

I met this very chubby bluebelly (pregnant female, perhaps?) along a trail at Foothill Regional Park last Saturday:

For those who haven’t guessed… that “undisclosed location” was the not-so-obscure town of Santa Rosa. I went skating at Snoopy’s Home Ice during the Friday morning Coffee Club session–and got a lesson from the oldest active skating instructor in the country, 87 year old Skippy Baxter. (“Active” means he still puts on his skates and gets out on the ice.) He was the first skater to ever land a triple salchow jump (clear back in 1940, he said) and also the first ever to land a backflip. No, he did not demonstrate either of those skills to me, but he did perform a rather nice spin. I said, “You make it look so easy!” And he said, “I’ve had 77 years to practice!”

Speaking of coffee… who could resist stopping at this place?

The coffee was good, and I’d have bought a T-shirt if they’d had the color I wanted in my size. I looked up their website, and a franchise is due to open in my very home town sometime this year. Hoo-rah. Another competitor to that S-word store….

And in beautiful downtown Calistoga (really nice little town, you should go there and just sit on a park bench for while) I found a java joint with yet another sign I could not resist:

More later. Maybe.

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Sorry About That…

May 28, 2007

… seems a malicious spam bot got hold of my blog and redirected a lot of its traffic through my living room, leaving muddy footprints and blowing out the bandwidth walls. Ith came to the rescue with her mighty sword so I am back in business again.

Just in time to mention that I am headed home from my undisclosed location today.

Arrived Safely

May 24, 2007

Now blogging from the undisclosed location. Here’s a tiny hint: Kerry received her very first ever telephone call from the Golden Gate Bridge today.

Tomorrow I’m going ice skating. So, it stands to reason, I am in a locale with a rink. And a place with a halfway decent oldies radio station, praise be. I can’t remember when was the last time I heard “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Everyone ready to break into falsetto? Sing along… “Galileo! Galileo!”

Anybody guessed yet where I am?

Excuse me a moment while I yank my tongue out of my cheek….

And once again I axe ya–why is it that the huge fancy high-priced hotels usually charge about $10 extra per day to get online–and the fleabags–er, budget priced motels–have free wi-fi? And free breakfast? Go figure. Okay, so I’m between a busy street on one side and the freeway on the other–but this room is just as nice as any that I’ve paid twice the price for.

But I miss my lizards…. Before I left town I topped off their water and gave them both enormous portions of gecko-goo. There’s a Petco right down the street. I better not go in there… I might have to adopt somebody.

Annoyingly Stupid Voice Mail System

May 24, 2007

People keep complaining they can’t get through to me because my voice mail is full.

This morning I had one message, one heavy breather, and four hang-ups. And the mail box is full. With just that.

Who bought this thing, anyway?

Even Child Molesters Have To Eat

May 23, 2007

He’s such a big goofball. You should have seen what I had to go through to get him to this point. (Think multiple instances of walking right through the food, and multiple hand-washings for both of us.)

I need to go pack now. I am leaving home for an undisclosed location for the weekend. May or may not blog from my hiding place. But I can safely guarantee that until the weekend is over, this will be a lizard-free blog, since they are not coming with me.

It’s Worse

May 23, 2007

No, Geico probably did not think Firefly was dinner.

I am told that the squeaking-whistling-wheezing noise he was making is more likely a sexual behavior.

Well… Firefly is too young for mere humans to accurately determine gender, so perhaps Geico (who is definitely a male, take a look at his pair if you don’t believe me) knows something we don’t know.

But regardless… that makes him a child molester!

AAK!

I have a genuine reptilian soap-opera playing out in my house. How about that.

The Children

May 22, 2007

At the risk of boring the readership… well. It’s my blog and I’ll bore you if I want to. So there.

Geico thought Firefly was dinner. He was licking his chops and actually squeaking.

But after a few minutes, he lost interest.

For the record… Fatso–I mean Geico–weighs 25.9 grams, and little Firefly weighs only 2.5 grams. I finally got each of them to sit on the scale long enough for it to register.

For Once, I Had The Camera Handy…

May 20, 2007

… and without a picture, this bumper sticker can’t be done descriptive justice.

How can you coexist with people who would just as soon chop off your head as look at you, because you’re an infidel?

How about we start demanding that others coexist with US? How about for once the onus is on somebody besides us?

I am just so bloody sick and tired of always being told that I have to understand and respect and accommodate other people’s beliefs and feelings. Nobody ever suggests that perhaps they (whoever “they” are in any instance) could meet me halfway.

Reminds me of my ex-husbands somehow.

I Told You…

May 19, 2007

… crested geckos jump just like frogs.

Check this out:

Ready….

Set…

SPLAT!

(That’s Geico, for those who care.)

This Is Why…

May 19, 2007

… photographers will drag a tripod along on a shoot. You can’t get handheld shots like this.

Actually, I have a monopod that doubles as a walking stick, which often doesn’t keep me from jiggling the camera even so. But check out the difference:

A virtual cookie to he or she who can tell the audience at large what makes those two images different, other than the tiny differences in the composition of the shot.

Here’s the shot pointing downstream from the exact same spot:

Once again I went looking for silence. This is what silence looks like. Except for the babbling brook. That doesn’t count as noise.

Oh, you want to know where this is? Garrapata State Park. Look it up.