Archive for October, 2007

And They Ask Writers Where We Get Ideas…

October 31, 2007

The answer? We wake up in the morning. We open our eyes. We put our heads out the door and look around. We answer the phone, and read our e-mail.

This is just too good not to put in the book… somehow.

Remember His Nadlessness? The two-timing bottom-feeder? Well… it gets even better.

Seems his entire office knew he was two-timing his girlfriend (who has since married him, the poor thing), and that I was the other woman. I do not know whether anyone tipped her off that he was playing around. No one bothered to tip ME off that I was the back-door cookie.

During the period when he was calling less and e-mailing less, it seems he was arrested for at least his second DUI. (He told me very early on he had once had a DUI, and had learned his lesson. Hah.) He was sentenced, as I understand it, to wear an ankle bracelet, and his movements were restricted to home and work. Apparently, he violated this by showing up late and drunk for something (not clear what) and thus was tossed in the slammer for a month.

His now-wife was aware of the entire episode, but needless to say, he never snuck over to my place while wearing the ankle bracelet, ’cause I’d have noticed. And the month-long vacation in the Hoosegow Hilton certainly explains a rather long gap in the e-mail traffic.

Let this serve as fair warning to anybody who is in close contact with a writer. A T-shirt I have explains it best:

Warning: Anything you do may appear in my next book.


For The New Readers On The Block…

October 26, 2007

… or anyone else who wants to know, for that matter.

Coffee? Because I am a shameless self-admitted addict thereof, and thoroughly enjoy poking fun at all the silly news stories on the subject.

On dragon’s wing? Because Ith, my blog mom and gracious hostess whose domain hosts her blog, my blog and a couple of others, chose that name some years ago. It actually has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my blog has been rather lizard-heavy over the last several months.

Lizards posing in fountains? Just because that’s where she landed and she was so cute sitting there. She didn’t stay long. I was lucky to grab the camera in time.

Other than that… this blog is my own personal editorial page on the world as I see it. Any and all topics are fair game here–but only if they actually interest me enough that I feel like commenting on them, and even more so if I can have some fun along the way. If you want to know more… head for the monthly archive pages and start reading. Welcome to my little corner of cyberspace. And enjoy yourself!

Firefly In Fountain

October 25, 2007

I went to put the lil’ darling back into her cage, and she took a flying leap–right into her fountain.

The hits just keep on coming!

Yet More Proof…

October 25, 2007

… that ours is a society with, by and large, waaay too much time on its hands.

The latest thing to be studied by “experts?” Gym grunting.

Dennis O’Connell is a certified strength and conditioning specialist and professor and chairman of physical therapy at Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene, Texas. He has led two studies assessing grunting’s ability to maximize exercise output.

During the research, O’Connell had a variety of people lift a heavy dead weight and pull that weight upward until they straightened their bodies into an upright position. Participants were told to either grunt or stay quiet during the lift.

“Very experienced lifters that normally grunted when they lifted did have about a 1 percent improvement with grunting,” O’Connell said.


Ah, The Joys…

October 24, 2007

… of gecko motherhood.

Overheard in my kitchen on more than one occasion:

“Spook, you’re supposed to EAT that, not finger-paint the sink with it!”

One Question Answered

October 23, 2007

The landlord had not notified me (a) when the new roof would go on the building or (b) when the new windows will be put in.

Let’s just say, it’s hard to hear what’s coming through the medical transcription headphones when there’s a roof tear-off going on about six feet above your ears.

At least the racket doesn’t seem to have awakened the geckos.

A Gaggle Of Browncoats…

October 20, 2007

… having a shiny good time.

For reasons unknown to me, after a brief appearance at SiliCon 2 weeks ago, the Ariel Ambulance is parked at a small aviation history museum that nobody has heard of. Next week it will go south for its next convention appearance, but today, the Silicon Gulch Browncoats had a picnic with the ambulance.

We got to get inside (it’s just a hollow shell, ’cause it’s only a prop) and get our pictures taken in the cockpit–seated on an upside down plastic crate, because, as I said, it’s just a shell.

A marvelous time was had by all. The fun part was when museum visitors and docents came over to ask what we were doing, and what was this “thing” we were all admiring. One guy even asked what kind of engine it had. He looked a little crestfallen when we explained it was just a TV show prop.

We were given a tour of part of the museum, including the FAA-certified wooden propeller building and repair shop. If you have an antique airplane and it needs a new wooden propeller, this is the place to have it built.

And in another hangar, we saw a nifty gyrocopter with an unusual fuel source.

All in all… a gorram shiny few hours spent in the sunshine (and a very stiff breeze). A huge thank-you to the museum folks who were kind enough to let us come on their property and do… whatever it was we were doing.

Bungle In The Jungle?

October 16, 2007

Well… the wee chillens are growing, and they’re full of surprises.

Beautiful little Inara has gone and sprouted pores, so she is really a he.

And Captain Malcolm Reynolds, on whom I could have sworn I saw pores the first time I examined him, now has no trace of pores, just speckled underside scales. So I think he is really a she.

Guess I’ll have to just swap their names.

Meanwhile, this brings up an interesting statistic. Assuming I now have all their genders correct… of the four juveniles, the girls are the better eaters, and the boys aren’t growing nearly as fast. Firefly and the new Inara eat like little piggies, whereas The Spook and the new Captain Malcolm Reynolds hardly eat a thing unless I hand-feed them. The girls are also voracious cricket eaters, whereas the boys have been actually known to run and hide from the crickets. Even Geico, the full-grown male, practically has to have crickets shoved down his gullet (not really, but close). He will, however, slurp up his gecko-goo without any problem.

And all of this and 50 cents will get me half of tomorrow’s newspaper.


October 15, 2007

Faithful reader and frequent commenter Bum has suggested that I am violating my own blog standards by blogging about Bad Ass Coffee, and asks why it is not Bad Pinkytoe Coffee.

Besides the fact that ass is a perfectly good synonym for donkey (it’s even in the Bible. Look it up), Bad Ass Coffee is named for the hard-working donkeys that used to haul the coffee beans on the plantations in Hawaii. Look it up.

Pinkytoe, on the other hand, refers to the human posterior. So there is no such thing as Bad Pinkytoe Coffee, unless it’s what comes out of the machine at Bubba’s Gas ‘n’ Gulp, in which case I really do not want to look too closely into its origins. And neither should you.

Bad Ass Coffee

October 14, 2007

The local store is now open. Go there. Immediately. Caffeinate yourself.

Unlike other coffee shops we could mention… their drinks come in easily-understood small, medium and large sizes, with one, two and (gasp) four espresso shots respectively.

Only trouble with a quadruple shot is, a month later you get sleepy again.

And I was the very first customer at the new store to load up a Bad Ass card. For that they gave me a free mug. 10 percent off all future drinks if I bring my own mug.

Again I say… go there. CrankyBeach hath spoken.