Archive for the ‘A Little Whine To Go With The Cheese’ Category

Boo. Freaking. Hoo.

May 24, 2008

Russian Communist Party members condemned the new “Indiana Jones” film . . . as crude, anti-Soviet propaganda that distorts history and called for it to be banned from Russian screens.

Stop Whining!

August 29, 2006

Okay, I’m here, I haven’t been kidnapped by aliens or joined a cult or anything. I’m just busier than you want to know about.

My co-worker (pregnant woman #2, twins, boy and girl) just came in and offered to go to Starbucks and get me something.

Yep, we’ll keep her. Until she has to quit to give birth to the twins, that is.

I Suppose I Should Be Thankful…

April 21, 2005

… at least no one can accuse me of being built like a boy (although I really do not think that was in question). But the rest of it was completely depressing. This is why I maintain that, unlike most women, I simply do not have the shopping gene.

Is it too much to ask? All I wanted was one lousy pair of plain black sweat pants. Simple, eh? Noooo! I couldn’t find one darn thing in the ladies’ department, not even close. So I went upstairs to hunt around in the boys’ department.

Well… a size “large” in boys was still too tight around the pinkytoe, and about 5 inches too long in the leg. So much for that idea. I should have known that boys are both taller and skinnier than I am; plus, the male of the species quite often has no pinkytoe at all.

So I did some more searching in the ladies’ department and took some possible candidates into the fitting room.

Well… the size large “athletic wear capris” (we used to call those high-waters back in my day) were STILL too tight. Because of my short legs, they were actually almost full length on me. Almost, but not quite. And the “waistline” (I use the term loosely) I think was supposed to ride somewhere around where my belly button used to be, before I lost track of it about 25 pounds ago.

Don’t they make anything suitable for middle-aged short-legged ladies who have succumbed to a little perimenopausal middle-aged spread? Anything that I can even pull up over my pinkytoe seems to be skin-tight, and “regular-length” pants come down about to my toes. (And before you ask, no, they did NOT have a darn thing in the petite department!) Not to mention… I prefer narrow-legged pants, and everything these days is as wide as we used to wear them back in the late 60’s.

That reminds me… my mother did not believe me when I told her I had gained 25 pounds in the last few years. I reminded her that I hide it. I never wear my shirts tucked in, and I don’t wear skin-tight pants…. I can hear y’all now. “Oh yeah? What about those jeans?” They aren’t quite skin-tight, they do stretch, and I’m stuffed into them like a sausage. So there.

Done whining for now. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.