Archive for the ‘Bloviating Morons’ Category

Some Things Are Just Too Easy…

December 28, 2007

Yesterday a car passed me near an intersection. The car wore every kind of “green” bumper sticker you could think of.

What kind of car do you suppose it was?

No, it was not a Prius or other hybrid. It was, in fact, a smoke-belching elderly diesel Mercedes.

Can you say “cognitive dissonance?”

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Gaah!

December 27, 2007

The good news is, there isn’t somebody wandering out there pretending to be me.

(Trust me. You don’t want the job. I know whereof I speak.)

The bad news: It seems an entire metric boatload of people didn’t get their new licenses because somehow the picture files got corrupted. So no new licenses were even created, and thus they were not mailed out.

Gee… do ya think they could have perhaps found a way of notifying the people who were affected?

Oh. That’s right. We’re talking about a gubbermint agency here. My bad.

So once again, I wait for a new license. At least I didn’t have to pay the 10 bucks to replace a lost or stolen license.

A Good Day To Go Back To Bed…

December 27, 2007

First, I find out that my phone bill is overdue because unbeknownst to me, I had been discontinued from the automatic payment service. I called to find out why, and they said my credit card had expired. I explained (patiently) that I had updated the information as soon as I got and activated the new card; but apparently their system is too dumb to understand such a simple task.

I renewed my driver’s license in plenty of time, but the new one has never arrived in the mail (and it’s been almost 2 months), so I get to go brave the Department of Murder Vehicles to fill out a form to replace the lost or stolen one. Meanwhile, it’s a safe bet there’s somebody out there pretending to be me. Oh, joy.

Then I’m trying to do my work, you know, the stuff I get paid for, and it appears the third-grader with the bald spot told someone I am not using the computer that was set up especially for me to have access to the office systems, and thus they have an intern in this week who is using it and keeps kicking me off. Said third-grader is out of town this week and next so I cannot go and personally commit murder and mayhem on his person. There have been some blistering e-mails sent out, though, to the effect that it’s all very well and good to kick me off the system, but do not expect accuracy of information if I can’t get into the very place I go to verify the information. Just sayin’.

I think I need more coffee.

Only In Santa Cruz

July 17, 2007

Job seekers, here is your opportunity.

The City of Santa Cruz (the southernmost point of the Bermuda Triangle for Common Sense, as former local radio host DAG used to call it) is hiring a global warming czar.

The gig will pay $80,000 a year.

That does it. I am in the wrong business.

Recruitment for the position will begin in the next two weeks. The article does not say where to show up to apply, but I suspect City Hall would be a good place to start.

Cross-posted at Ith’s place

Yeah. What She Said.

May 17, 2007

Ith once again demonstrates why she is my incredibly wise blog-mom:

I am livid over this illegal amnesty travesty that was announced today! Let me tell you, the RNC isn’t getting another dime from me till they get a spine, and no candidate who supports this travesty is getting my support, let alone my vote!

I’m sick and tired of the elected officials that I supported acting like a bunch of Democrats.

Camel, meet straw.

I won’t tell you to go read the whole thing–because that was the whole thing.

Talk Radio Shenanigans

May 25, 2006

The local talk radio station (which shall remain unnamed, obviously) has been through some interesting incarnations over the years.

Right now the general manager/owner/program director is running a spot wherein he says that up until now, the station has run mostly syndicated programming, with a few local shows mixed in. But now they are going to change directions, and become a mostly local programming station with a few syndicated programs thrown in. So if you want to have your own local talk show, call him for “rates and information.” An updated spot heard just today indicates that you too can do a one-hour weekly show for only $450 per week.

Okay, that’s all well and good, I suppose… but I wonder how many local listeners remember the brou-ha-ha 8 years ago? Back then, the very same station owner declared that local programming was dead, and he was going to switch over to all-syndicated. To prove his point, he declared one particular week “first time callers only week” just to see how many people were listening other than the half dozen or so regular gadflys who called in regularly.

At the time, a good friend of mine had the highest rated locally-produced program in the history of our radio market. The financial arrangement was that local hosts were not paid, nor did they have to pay for their airtime; but if they managed to sell any advertising for their show, they were allowed to keep the revenue therefrom. My friend, because he was delivering consistently high ratings to the station, told the owner that based on his performance, he wanted a new deal–he wanted to be paid for his show. We speculated at the time that “first time caller week” was aimed at him, to prove nobody was really listening other than his 5 or 6 most rabid fans.

Well… when all was said and done, each of the other local shows got perhaps under a dozen first-time calls in the course of the 5-day week. My friend, however, got something like 75 or 80 first-time calls–and he was off the air one of the days because of a prior commitment. So he had an average of close to 20 first-time calls per day to his 2-hour daily show.

The owner idiot in charge actually announced, on the air, in answer to a direct question from a caller, that he had not bothered to actually LISTEN to his own station during first-time caller week, but was relying on reports from other sources to tell him what was going on. This told me that he had already drawn his own conclusions, and was using the entire exercise to get rid of my friend–who drew much higher ratings than anyone else on the station, including the owner on his own weekly show.

So now, 8 years later, he’s pulling a switcheroo–but this time he’s selling his airwaves. This tells me he can’t attract any talent who is worth being paid for his or her airtime; rather, he’s turning the airwaves over to anybody who can cough up $450 a week.

There goes the neighborhood.

Why am I listening to this station, you may ask? It’s a legitimate question. I listen ONLY because it happens to be the local Rush Limbaugh station. As soon as Rush is done, I turn it off. So there.

12 Days Late, Many Dollars Short

November 8, 2005

A Yahoo! news headline:

State of Emergency Declared in France

PARIS – President Jacques Chirac declared a state of emergency Tuesday, paving the way for curfews to be imposed on riot-hit cities and towns in an extraordinary measure to halt France’s worst civil unrest in decades after 12 nights of violence. Police, meanwhile, said overnight unrest Monday-Tuesday, while still widespread and destructive, was not as violent as previous nights.

Feel free to jump in and tear this apart. I have work to do.

He Says That Like It’s A Bad Thing

September 19, 2005

California state assembly-critter John Laird (D, Santa Cruz) is complaining that the Governator ran as a centrist, but has succumbed to “Republican pressure” and has moved to the hard right.

Discuss amongst yourselves. I have work to do.

Lousy Businessman, And A Dork Too

August 24, 2005

The guy who left his building vacant for a whole year rather than rent it to us has pulled off another wonderful event.

When a co-worker came in today, somebody was parked in her space. Turns out it was the new tenant, who upon being told of his incursion, said the landlord had given him two spaces in the gated lot but never bothered to tell him they were assigned, numbered spaces, so he assumed he could park in any empty spot.

And now the story is developing that perhaps the landlord also gave away a couple more of our assigned (and rented) spaces without telling us about it, because another employee who was parked in her regular spot got a nasty-gram note on her windshield telling her she was trespassing.

Sheesh.

Like This Is A Surprise

July 12, 2005

I can’t find the story online yet, so don’t have any links. I’ll come back later and put ’em in if I find them.

Just heard on Fox News that the results of a “living wage” study show, surprise surprise, that in cities with living wage laws, there are fewer jobs.

The pro-living wage spinners are suggesting that the data is flawed, in that the study counted ALL jobs, not just the jobs impacted by the living wage laws.

It’s called the marketplace. You raise the price of something, people can afford less of it. Mandate that employers pay employees more, and employers can afford fewer employees.

Duh.