Archive for the ‘Public Service Announcement’ Category

Prayers, Please

June 12, 2008

UPDATE: Suzanne’s home is safe for now. She says the fire was never closer than 6000 feet; but things were very, very smoky for a while there. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts.

Good friend Suzanne’s house is in the line of the latest fires. She says their bags are packed and they’re ready to evacuate.

You know what to do.


Every American Needs To Read This

November 4, 2007

A journalist from Zimbabwe has a guest column in today’s local paper. Because this needs to remain available to readers (and it eventually goes away, on the newspaper’s page), I am going to quote it in full here. (Emphasis mine.) Read it. Learn it. Love it. Live it. And stop whining.

Update: I should add, the “spray” he talks about for the moths is NOT a pesticide; it is a pheromone designed to confuse the male moths so they can’t find females to mate with.

You’ve got it good, America
Plentiful food, working electricity, even restrooms should not be taken for granted
Guest commentary

I wake to the tinkle of water in the toilet cistern and the quiet hum of the refrigerator in my hotel room. I must be dreaming. I pinch myself to make sure I am awake. Sure enough, I am not in dreamland. Water is chuckling in the toilet bowl and that is the fridge humming.

Still not sure, though, I ask myself if I could be a bit hungover after wandering into the local pub last night. No, I only had a couple of Budweisers, and the stuff is nowhere near as potent as the beer back home. A fellow scribe glowingly describes our Zimbabwean beers as “beautifully chilled articles of a mildly intoxicating nature,” but I don’t entirely agree with the mild part, as the stuff has the kick of a mule if taken in sufficient quantities. I digress.

Then it hits me. I’m not dreaming. I am in America. It’s the United States of America, stupid! A country where everything seems to function the way it’s supposed to.


Dear Neighbors:

May 9, 2007

Could you yell just a little bit louder, please?

I didn’t quite catch the last couple of names you called each other.

In The E-Mail…

April 4, 2007

Is your mouse calibrated?

You should do this every few weeks. More often if you spend a lot of time on computer. I was shocked to see that this works!

To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below. Then drag the Y toward the g. If it doesn’t work, you might want to clean your mouse.

You dumb ass pinkytoe. You’ll believe anything.

A Day Late And A Matzoh Short

April 4, 2007

A happy and blessed Passover to all of our Jewish brothers and sisters.

Good News / Bad News

February 21, 2007

Anyone remember back far enough to when I complained that there was not one single “oldies” station in this radio market?

Well… the good news is, now there is one.

The bad news is, it’s a 9-volt AM radio station.

The other good news is that this particular station’s previous format was the local Air America affiliate. For those not paying attention, Air America has finally disintegrated, thanks largely to the efforts of our own locally-bred watchdog Brian Maloney.

All things considered… I’d say the good news far outweighs the bad here.

Yet Another Semi-Useless Quiz

October 9, 2006

We report, you decide. Remember, you heard it here first.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

Wise Choice

September 26, 2006

You know how when you rent a car, they always try to sell you the “damage waiver” or whatever they call it?

The two times my poor Lexus has had to go to the hospital, I have put out the extra money for the damage waiver, and then never had anything happen to the rental car. But that’s what insurance is for–you hope you never have to use it, but if something happens, at least you have it.

My sister had to put her car in the body shop because somebody hit her in the parking lot. I recommended the damage waiver to her–and it was a good thing she got it, because somebody hit the rental car in the parking lot.

Without the damage waiver, she would have had to pay another entire (large) deductible to fix the rental car.

Party Like It’s 2004

September 24, 2006

There is one local station selling regular gas for $2.43 a gallon.

The next cheapest station is $2.76. The one right down on my corner is $2.86.

I figured it was worth it to save 4 bucks on my 13-gallon fill-up (I still had a quarter of a tank) and drove the 5 miles or so to the station. The lines at the pumps reminded me of 1974. At one point I backed back out into the street to let out a motorhome towing a boat, but I only had to wait about 5 minutes’ total, unlike 1974, when a half-hour wait in line was a good thing. (And gas was 52 cents a gallon.)

And the beauty of it all? It’s not a Citgo station!


July 11, 2006

If you guys hit my Lexus with that whiffle ball, I am going to come down there and strangle you both with my bare hands.

This is a parking garage, not a playground!

CrankyBeach hath spoken. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.