Archive for the ‘The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.’ Category

Stupid

September 28, 2007

I’m blogging from the road, headed for a weekend reptile show.

I followed a van for many miles. Its rear panel sticker asked any busybody to call a toll-free number if the van was speeding.

Trouble was, in order to READ the toll-free number to report the speeding, I would have had to crawl right up the van’s tailpipe–just as illegal a maneuver at 70+ miles per hour as speeding.

I wonder if they use small print on purpose?

And no, the toll-free number was not 1-800-EAT-STUFF.

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Only In Santa Cruz

July 17, 2007

Job seekers, here is your opportunity.

The City of Santa Cruz (the southernmost point of the Bermuda Triangle for Common Sense, as former local radio host DAG used to call it) is hiring a global warming czar.

The gig will pay $80,000 a year.

That does it. I am in the wrong business.

Recruitment for the position will begin in the next two weeks. The article does not say where to show up to apply, but I suspect City Hall would be a good place to start.

Cross-posted at Ith’s place

For Once, I Had The Camera Handy…

May 20, 2007

… and without a picture, this bumper sticker can’t be done descriptive justice.

How can you coexist with people who would just as soon chop off your head as look at you, because you’re an infidel?

How about we start demanding that others coexist with US? How about for once the onus is on somebody besides us?

I am just so bloody sick and tired of always being told that I have to understand and respect and accommodate other people’s beliefs and feelings. Nobody ever suggests that perhaps they (whoever “they” are in any instance) could meet me halfway.

Reminds me of my ex-husbands somehow.

No, It Is Not April 1.

April 26, 2007

But one would certainly think so.

I mean, come on. Mistaking a sheep for a poodle?

Let’s see…. this

versus this:

Nuh-uh.

I just wonder what would have happened if one of those poor saps had gotten her sheep groomed in that hideous poodle-do?

A thought much too horrifying to contemplate.

And After All That…

March 6, 2007

… they spelled my name wrong on the 1099.

At least my social stupidity number is correct, so I don’t spoze the IRS cares much that my good name has been taken in vain.

Aargh!

February 26, 2007

Today I asked a client where my 2006 1099 was.

She said she was wondering the same thing. She called the accountancy office and was told the accountant who does that quit.

Whoever she talked to did not seem to understand the concept of having someone else take over the duties of the quitter.

After she performed an attitude adjustment, she was assured that the matter would be taken care of.

As I keep saying… you just can NOT get good help anymore!

I Just Saw The Stupidest Thing

February 23, 2007

My apartment complex has two driveways, separated by a building that is only one apartment wide.

This morning as I was out walking Little Miss Poopy-Pants (otherwise known as the Q-tip) a young neighbor drove her BMW out of one driveway, into the other, took three passes to turn her car around, parked next to the trash cans–and emptied her trash.
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She was not limping, so did not have the excuse of impaired walking.

I think it took her longer to get her car turned around and positioned than it would have taken for her to walk from her apartment, dump the trash, walk back, get in her car, and head out.

Sheeesh.

Say What?!

November 7, 2006

Was just reading an insert in the local paper where the community college is bragging about its various accomplishments.

In the article about new faculty members, one of those members is coming on board as a full time reading instructor.

What in the name of J. K. Rowling is going on here? Nobody who needs a reading instructor has any business being admitted to college!

Don’t You Just Hate That?

June 15, 2006

Brain farts. Senior moments. A humbling experience, as my mother said. Whatever you want to call them.

Running around in my usual morning headless-chicken mode, today I managed to get out of the house without my keys.

Since they changed the lock on my storage room I hadn’t reset my secret key arrangement, which involved a key to the storage room in the flowerpot, and a key to the house in the storage room.

Long story a whole lot shorter, my 85 year old mother rousted out my sister, borrowed her spare key to my place, and drove it over to me.

And I was having such fun playing “snake” on my cell phone until she arrived………

And I was only half an hour late for work.

Dumb Criminals

March 8, 2006

Ninjababe tells quite a story about a drug-seeker at the pharmacy where she works:

…someone turned in a prescription that was obviously altered. We could tell it was supposed to be for Ultracet (which is a pain medication in the same drug class as prescription strength Motrin). The patient changed it to Percocet (which is in the same drug class as Morphine). We told the patient that we’d have to call the doctor because he didn’t write a strength on the prescription…

…after the patient left, the coworker who took the prescription faxed the doctor to make sure it wasn’t altered. It was. So, we called the police.

…Then, the patient called to see if his prescription was ready. We told him yes, as we were told to say that by the officer. He showed up in drive-thru. The police officer was called, but he was in another situation where he couldn’t come over. So, we were told to tell the patient that there was a question as to if the prescription was altered or not. (The patient responded, “Altered? You mean changed?”) He was asked to call a number given to him (which was to the police officer) and after cleared up, we would give the prescription.

As he drove off, [my] coworker wrote down the make, model and color of the car, plus the license plate.

We report, you decide.